10 Steps to DeSue a Mary Sue
by kigen
Summary: Mary Sues. The Avatar fanfiction is full of them. However, there is hope! Sokka will go with you step by step and explain just how to desue your Mary Sue, and change her into a great character! Cuteness warning, Sokka playing professor.
1. Naming Your Mary Sue

**10 Steps to De-Sue a Mary Sue**

Hello everything. This is my first attempt at both a humor and an Avatar fic, so please bear with me. This is basically about Sokka giving a little lecture on how to turn a Mary Sue into a good, original character. This will be multi chaptered.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar. If possession were ever fall to me… Let's just say Sokka would have a couple of male stalkers. The official sounding definition of Mary Sues comes from Wikipedia.

**Chapter One- Naming Your Mary Sue**

Sokka walks into a room, coming to stand in front of a chalk board. Over his normal clothing, he wears Zuko's robe from before his ship exploded, and what appears to be Teo's goggles. All in all, it's a very cute attempt of him trying to look like a professor.

Clearing his throat, he picks up a piece of chalk.

"Today we are going to talk about the dreaded cancer of Avatar fanfiction." He paused to scribble something on the chalkboard. "That's right. We are going to talk about:" Sokka steps away from the board the reveal the words, "Mary Sues."

Adjusting his (Teo's) goggles, he picks up a book and begins to read. "A Mary Sue (or just Sue) is a fictional character, the term originating from fan fiction, who is an idealized stand in for the author. It is also sometimes used to describe any stand in for the author (whether idealized or not), and idealized character (whether a stand in for the author or not), or any original character in fanfiction."

Sokka closes the book with a snap. "In lame-man's terms, it is a stunning beautiful, optimistic, male magnet, ultra powerful girl with a tragic past, usually based on the author who writes her. AKA, the 'perfect' character."

Erasing the board, he writes something else, than turns back around.

"Now, I know that some of the authors out there are not aware they are writing about Mary Sues. I also know that every author foes through a phase where they write Mary Sues, and it can be hard to stop. So I present to you," Sokka picks up a pointing stick and slaps it against the board, "10 steps to de-Sue and Mary Sue.

"Of course, there are far more than ten steps, but ten makes the title sound better. That, and I'm making this up as I go along and aren't sure how many exactly are there. This process will be divided into different lessons bases n appearance, character interaction, the character's past, bending/fighting ability, and anything else I manage to think of. But for now, let's focus on names."

Writing on the board, Sokka continues his speech.

"Let's focus on the names of the main characters."

Sokka, has been written first on the board. It is easily the biggest and boldest name written. Next to it are the names Katara, Aang, Saki, Yue, and Bumi. Next are the names Bato, Pakku, Appa, Momo, Meng, and Haru. Lastly are the names Jun, Iroh, Jet, Zula, Zuko, Zhao, and Oazi. It should be noted that there are frowny faces and various ugly looking chibis around the names Jet, Zuko, Zhao, and Ozai.

"First, look at the number of syllables in each name. Katara is the longest with three syllables. Aang, Meng, Jun, and Zhao each have one syllable. All other names have two syllables. Therefore, in relavence to the Avatar universe, names should be one, two, three, MAYBE four syllables long. In other words, no names that are ridiculously long like, I dunno; Anna-banana-santa-maria… Was that name ever actually used?" Sokka shuddered at the thought.

"Next, let's look at the names. They all sound Asian, don't they? Well, except for Jet." Sokka quickly crosses out the rouges name with glee. "That's because the Avatar-verse is based mainly off of Asia, and her cultures. So when creating a name for your character, it should sound Asian. Names like Rebecca or Sophie or Nicole or anything like that just don't work.

"Please note that no one in the Avatar-verse has a last name. Therefore, no one should have a last name in the fanfics."

Suddenly Sokka pulls out a small notebook and quickly glances through it.

"Oh and no giving your character a name that sounds like one of the main characters' names. That means, no Zuka, no Katari, no Aangzu, or Sokkai, or anything else like that!"

"Sokka, who are you talking to?" Katara pokes her head into the room.

"No one Katara." Sokka quickly erases the board and pulls the goggles off his head.

Katara graces her older brother a look of disbelief. "Whatever you say Sokka. By the way, Teo wants his goggles back now."

"Okay."

"Did Zuko say you could borrow his robe?" Katara can't help but ask.

"No, why?"

"It's just…

Zuko's voice suddenly thunders from another room. "WHO TOOK MY ROBE!"

Sokka epps, and hides the robe behind the chalk board. Then, with a look that he hopes is innocent, he goes to return Teo's goggles.

Katara waits inside the room and listens to the conversation Taking place in the hallway.

"You took my robe, didn't you?"

"No… Why do you say that?"

"Give me my robe back now water tribe peasant; or I will-"

"Ahh! I don't have it! Wait! No firebending! Aughh!"

Katara sighs and grabs her water pouch. It looks like she's in for a long night healing her brother's burns.

This sounded so much better in my head. It probably would have done better as a comic too. Oh well. At least I tried. Anyways, read, review, and be gentle.

Next chapter will be another lesson in de-sueing your Mary Sue. Any suggestions, or just something you thought I missed with this chapter, feel free to let me know.

Ja min-na san!


	2. Physical Appearances

**10 Steps to De-Sue a Mary Sue**

Wow. Over five reviews in less then two days. I'm flattered. And, wow. I didn't expect people to take this fic seriously. I had no idea I was actually helping Mary Sue authors. That's not bad or anything, it's good. Just, wow.

If any Suethers out there have any specific questions, feel free to message me. I'm not an expert or anything, but I'm happy to help. Anything else, wait and I will write about it eventually.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar. This became clear when we saw Sokka's bathing suit. I am not a fan of loin clothes. All the Korean cultural references come from mommy, who grew up in a very traditional family because she's part of a dynasty and knows all these things(Korean equivalent of royalty for those who don't know, even though they don't hold much power today).

**Chapter Two- Physical Appearances**

Sokka once again stands at the head of the room. This time, instead of a chalk board, he stands in front of a marker board. He is again wearing Teo's goggles, and has a large bandage wrapped around his upper arm… Zuko's robe is not present.

"Today, I would like to start by saying; I know marker boards don't exist in the Avatar-verse. Well, neither should Mary Sues, but that's why I'm here. Besides, markers don't make nearly as much dust as chalk does when you erase it. So, for this lesson, just ignore that fact."

He turns around and draws on the marker board for several minutes. Picking up his pointing stick, he steps away to reveal four chibi heads. One is of him, which has obviously had the most time put into it. Next is Aang, then Haru. Last is a scribbled, scowling Zuko.

"Today we will be learning how to make your Mary Sue look her best without being an eyesore. This will be broken into two parts: physical appearance and clothing. First, let's look at our examples." Sokka gestures to the four chibi heads.

"Here we have one member from each of the four nations. Now if your character is from another nation, wait until we get to the lessons on the characters' pasts. For now, we're just gonna focus on what we have."

The sticks point to the chbi Sokka head. "Handsome guy, huh? A native of the Water Tribe, the best nation out there. Members of the Water Tribe have two very distinct features. First is our eye color. Only members of the Water Tribe have blue eyes. Now, for the sake of description, the shade of blue can vary. Your character can have light blue eyes or ocean blue eyes-whatever. The point is EVEYRONE in the Water Tribe has blue eyes and ONLY those in the Water Tribe have blue eyes. Water Tribe-blue eyes. Not Water Tribe-no blues eyes. Am I making myself clear?"

Clearing his throat, Sokka points to his face. "The Water Tribe is known for having dark skin. Only members of the Water Tribe will have skin as dark as mine. If the character is not a member of the Water Tribe, their skin will be lighter than mine.

"Another thing is hair." Sokka reaches up and pulls out his ponytail. "Our hair is dark brown. Again, call it brown, dark brown, chocolate brown, whatever. Honestly, I stopped caring about this when I was talking about the eyes."

Tugging at the ends of his hair, Sokka goes on. "Men tend to have hair that reaches their chin or shoulders. Even though over half of my head is shaved, my hair still reaches my chin. Men tend to put their hair up in ponytails." Pulling his hair back into place; Sokka turns to the board to draw something else.

Below Sokka's head are now two pictures of Katara. One is a chibi shot of her face. The other is her chibi profile. It must be said that Sokka is surprisingly good at drawing chibis.

"But there's really no point talking about guy's hair, because this about Merry Sues and not Gary Stus; which has to be the stupidest name I have ever heard of. Anyway, let's look at Katara's hair. The girls of the Water Tribe have long hair; at least to the middle of their backs. They twist, and bend, and braid their hair in some weird girly way I don't even wanna begin to understand. But, its complex, pretty, usually involves a long braid or ponytail in the back and has something in front of the ears or coming down from the hairline." Sokka points to the strands of hair that fall over Katara's eyes.

"Now let's move on to airbenders." The stick is pointed at Aang. "Now, unless you're writing a fic in the past or future, chances are there aren't going to be any lady airbenders. On the possibility that you do write fics with female airbenders, you may want to give them hair." Sokka points to Aang's bald head.

"I asked Aang about this earlier. He said lady airbenders has brown hair; long, long brown that was usually held in a loose ponytail. He also said that some girls of the Air Nomads shaved their heads like the boys. I doubt many authors out there will want to do this, but please feel free."

The stick moves to Aang's eyes. "Air benders have gray eyes. When describing them, stay away from adjectives like silvery. Instead try stormy or bright. That just sounds more airbenderish… like…

"Earthbenders have the most variety!" Sokka quickly slaps the stick against Haru, leaving a smudge across his nose and cheek. "Their hair is different shade so brown, varying from a lightish brown, to a dark brown, or even black. The hairstyles range from chin length tomboyish styles like Suki's, long and simple like Song's, wild and spiky like the Xjang tribe's, or long and elegant like the girl with the Miss Pretty doll Jet tried to kill. With Earth Kingdom hairstyles, it's hard to go wrong as long as the hair suits the character. For example: Suki is a tomboy, she had a tomboy haircut. Song had a simple but pretty personality, hence the braid. A character like Song would not look good with Suki's hair."

Sokka pauses to pull a piece of paper out of his pocket. "The person who game me this job wants me to point out a few things about Song concerning her hairstyle."

Lifting the paper to his face, he begins to read outloud. "Song is based from the Korean culture. This can easily be seen in her clothing, house, and some of the foods her mother serves Zuko and Iroh. Song wears her hair down while her mother wears her hair in a bun at the base of her neck with ornamental chopsticks. The bun signifies that Song's mother is married. The fact Song wears her hair down means she is unattached."

Sokka pauses yet again as he rereads the note.

"Yeah, okay… This is just Kigen's way of being a Song fangirl because she's half Korean and wants someone to rant to."

Crumpling the paper into a ball, he throws it over his shoulder. "If your character wears clothing like Song's, don't put her hair in a bun unless she gets married."

Picking his stick up once more, he points to Haru's smudged face. "Getting back on track, Earth Kingdom skin is an. It's not nearly as dark as the Water Tribe's skin, but darker than Air and Fire Nation skin. Their eyes are either brown or green. Soft brown, moss green, spring green, chocolate brown; choose whatever floats your boat."

Sokka turns to the Zuko chibi and pick up an eraser. He is nearly squirming with anticipation at what he's about to do.

"This is a fire bender. See the hair? It's black. The ponytail-bun thing? Most Fire Nation people have it, unless they decided to leave. Then they cut it off!" Sokka takes the eraser and 'cuts' Zuko's hair, leaving him bald.

"Next, they eyes are yellow and tend to be very sharp. Their skin, it's really pale. The Fire Nation has the palest skin color of all the nations.

"I could talk more about the Fire Nation, but they're a bunch of jerks and I don't want to talk about them anymore. So, let's move on to missing the cultures.

"Your Mary Sue CAN have parents from two different nations. It's rare, but it does happen from time to time. All you do for this kind of Sue is mix and match the features of the parents. For example, let's say your Sue has an Earth Kingdom mother, but a Fire Nation father. First, the Sue's mom has a really bad taste in men. Second, the Sue can have brown hair, tan skin, and yellow eyes. Or, she could have light skin, black hair, and green eyes. It doesn't really mater as long as you stick to the character's heritage. The only thing to keep in mind is that if the Sue is a bender (which she most likely will be), try and give her the eyes of her nation. That's because the eye color of cannon characters reflect the element of the bender's nation. So, if the Sue we just made up was an earthbender, give her green eyes.

"Notice no where did I mention girls with two colored eyes, weird eye colors, strange colored anime hair, or even blond hair. That's because even though Avatar is an anime, it doesn't have all the anime clichés. So, if you decide to give your character long, flowing blue hair with purple streaks, one eye purple and one pink; stop. Just stop. That is a Mary Sue, plain and simple, and there is no way to save her."

Sighing at the his last explanation, he takes out another sheet of paper and a pen.

"Physical apperence by nation, check. Eye color for each nation, check. Skin color, check. Kigen's completely unnecessary Song blab, check. Clothing, that's not until next time. Scars, burns, tattoos, and other miscellaneous body markings…" Sokka stops.

"What the… When did THAT get on the list! It's not supposed to be there! Kigen! You did this, didn't you? You put this on my list when I wasn't looking because you knew I was gonna make fun of you for being a Song fangirl! The next time I see you, I'm gonna-"

"Um Sokka?"

"What is it Aang?"

"Who are you yelling at?"

"No one Aang."

"Oh, okay." Aang looks at the marker board. "Hey, these are some great chibis! Are they for your anti-Mary Sue lessons?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm." Aang looks at the chibis, concentrating hard. "They're all guys. Wouldn't it have made more sense to make them girls?"

"Err… I… um…" Groaning, Sokka gives up. "Next lesson is either clothing or the 'miscellaneous' body markings." Sokka adds air quotes.

"Sokka?"

"What is it Aang?"

"Who are you talking to?"

"No one Aang. No one."

And here is part two of who knows how many. As for all the things above about member of the different nations each looking a certain way; that is in no way concrete. Those are just generalizations that should be followed in most fanfiction cases. And the things about the eye color matching the bending; that's just something I noticed and thought the creators put in on purpose. Blue for water, green and brown for earth, gray for… clouds, and yellow for fire.

As a side note, self insertion doesn't really count as no-no in fiction when it's a humor fic. That's why I do it here, but wouldn't do it in a serious fanfiction.

And as for Song, I am a total fangirl just because she's the Avatar equivalent of a Korean. In fact, when I watched the episode with my mother…

"Mom look! That girl's wearing a Korean outfit!"

"Yes she is. She isn't married."

"Huh?"

"Her hair's down. Look at her mother. Her mother's hair is up in a bun. That's because she's married."

"Ohh… Hey Mommy, is that Korean food?"

"Yes."

"Is that a Korean house?"

"Yes."

"Look Mommy! Shewearing Korean socks!"

"Yes she is."

"You have some upstairs in your closet!"

"Who's idea was it for you to come down for the weekend? It was such a good idea at the time."

Yeah… I don't live with my family anymore, I go to school…

Anyway, next chapter Sokka explains the dos and don'ts for either clothes or body markings. I haven't decided yet. Please review.

Ja min-na san!


	3. Miscellaneous Body Markings

**10 Steps to De-Sue a Mary Sue**

Firfteen reviews… I'm in awe. Big thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing!

There were a few comments. One was about a few flaws I made in eye color. That's better explained in this chapter. As for the one about multiple bending, that will be covered in the chapter about bending. And one lovely reviewer I believe offered to be my beta! As much as I appreciate your kind offer, I'm not sadistic enough to get a beta. Best keep your sanity while you can.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar. This chapter's based mostly on traditional Asian body art. Again, nothing is concrete and you do not have to take my advice on anything you see written here.

**Chapter Three- Miscellaneous Body Markings**

Once more, Sokka stands in front of the room. His arms are crossed, and he's pouting. Teo' goggles hang limply around his neck.

Suki is leaning against the wall, amusement clear upon her features. "You deserve it you know. If only you had kept your mouth shut."

"She took my stick and my marker board away from me." Sokka juts his lower lip out further.

"You shouldn't have called her all those names." Suki's smirk widens.

"Why are you here anyway?"

"Well, today you're talking about body decorations, right?"

"I can't talk about clothing because I can't draw examples."

"Speaking of your examples, wanna point out your mistake from last time, or should I?"

Sokka suddenly explodes. "How was I supposed to know Fire Nation jerks have brown eyes too? I never stop to look a firebender and wonder, 'gee, he has such lovely brown eyes,' when he's trying to fry me to a crisp!"

Suki raises a painted eyebrow. "And the Water Tribe?"

"Everyone in my village had blue eyes! When we were up north, the only person whose eyes I looked at were Yue's! And she HAD blue eyes, just like every other Water Tribesman I know!"

Suki chooses to ignore the Yue comment in favor of teasing Sokka more. "And what color are Bato's eyes? I'm pretty sure they're brown."

"Err… I…" Truthfully, Sokka can't remember the color of Bato's eyes, and can't tell if Suki is being serious or joking. "Kigen didn't know either! She's just blaming me so she doesn't look bad!"

Out of no where, a paper airplane flies and hits Sokka on the back of the head.

"Who threw that!"

Suki calmly picks up the airplane and open it. "It's from Kigen."

Sokka pauses in his screaming. "What does she want?"

"She says, 'You should know better then me. You live in that world, I just visit sometimes. Now stop griping and get on with the lesson or you'll never see your marker board again.' I can tell she's such a sweetheart and loves you so much." Suki smirks.

Grumbling, Sokka pulls the goggles over his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Today we'll be focusing on various forms of the Sue's appearance-"

"Sokka?"

Said boy groans in annoyance. "What Suki?"

"As much as I hate to interrupt the lesson… Who are you talking to?"

"The Suethors."

"And where are the Suethors?"

"I'm going to ignore that question. As I was saying, today we will be focusing on various forms of the Sue's appearance-"

Suki shakes her head. "But there's no one here."

"Yes there is."

"No, the only people here are you and me. And I don't need anti Sue lessons."

"Listen, I don't know how the Suethors hear me or anything. All I know is that I stand in this room, I give the lesson, and then I get fanmail concerning the lesson. So even though there's no one else in the room somewhere, somehow the Suethors are watching!"

Suki looks at him with growing concern. "I'm going to get Katara. I think you're running a fever."

"I am NOT running a fever! They're here I tell you, here! You just can't see them! Suki? Suki!" With a heavy sigh, Sokka turns back around.

"Today's lessons are on the various body markings your Avatar Sue may have. First off, tattoos.

"Once an airbender has mastered airbending, they have a blue arrow tattooed all over their body." Sokka turns to draw on the marker board. Seeing it missing, he pouts and turns back around. "You can deviate from the basic design if you want, just remember to keep the tattoos blue, trail all along the body, and have a basic arrow design.

"Now for tattoos in general; tattooing is an art that has existed for hundreds of years. So, it's not impossible for your Sue to have a tattoo. Just keep in mind this though; we don't have that little tattoo machine thingy that Kigen showed me. When we tattoo, it's done in a very traditional way. Think a sharp needle with ink being driven into the skin over and over and over again. It's really, really painful and takes a long time. That means that the tattoo probably won't be too big. The bigger the tattoo, the longer you have to sit there being poked. So if your Sue has a tattoo, she better be tough enough to sit through the entire process.

"As for the design, there aren't going to be many tattoos of smiley faces or peace signs. Go for more tribal designs or oriental designs. And as for the colors, stick to one or two. Again, more colors, the longer the tattoo takes to make, more poking.

"Now if your tattoo has any meaning… Don't make your tattoo to be a symbol to some prophecy or legend or something. It's just too hard to pull off without coming out clichéd. As for it being mark of belonging to a certain clan or organization; you better have a good outline for the clan, and make it very clear what the Sue's business with Aang is in that case. There is lore about tattoos containing spiritual powers and being for things like protection. Like tigers for courage and some monkey god for wisdom or a flower for purity… You can include that with your Sue if you like and not have it be too Sueish."

Sighing once again at the lack of drawing material (more likely the fact he can't tease Zuko with his chibi drawings); Sokka moves on to the next subject. "All right, now let's move on to burns. In the Avatar-verse, firebenders are winning the war at the moment. So, people are going to have burns. Zuko, he has a huge, nasty burn on his face. Song has one on her leg. Burns happen. That's life. That doesn't mean that Sues are going to go around having huge burns on their arms slash legs slash whatever. If a firebender's gonna burn your Sue bad enough to leave a scar so big it doesn't heal, then chances are your Sue isn't gonna live past that. Just cause your Sue's a girl doesn't mean that the Fire Nation's gonna be nice and let her live. Small burns that heal in a couple of days or weeks or whatever, that's fine. As long as your Sue's body isn't completely covered in them, it works.

"Now for the ever popular scars." Sokka pulls off his shirt. "Scars will happen a lot; especially if your Sue fights a lot or is a warrior. I have some too. Here," Sokka points to right above his right eyebrow where there is a faint scar, "here," right below his left collar bone, "here," his thumb (presumably where he once had two fishhooks stuck from the look of it), "and a bunch of other places. Look at my scars though. They're not very big… Well there's one on my leg that's about three inches long… But that's another story. Moving on, they aren't in any strange shape, or really noticeable. None of them mean anything; none of them are particularly distinctive."

Sokka stops to his shirt back on. "What I'm saying is; your Sue isn't going to have some huge tattoo, unless she's an airbender, or burn or scar or whatever. She might wear make up though.

"Makeup isn't seen in large amounts in the Avatar-verse. Yeah, Azula and Jun wore lipstick. And yeah, the warriors of Kyoshi and warriors of my clan wore face paint for battle. So, a little lipstick, that's understandable. I can even see a little eye shadow or blush. Your Sue should not go overboard with the make up or use outlandish colors. Like, I dunno, green eye shadow and purple lipstick. I don't know about you, but if I saw some girl come up with freakishly long eyelashes, green eye shadow and purple lips, I'd laugh. So with makeup; keep it simple, keep it naturalish looking."

"If you want to try face paint for warriors, try sticking mainly to red, black, and white. These colors were used traditionally in plays from either in ancient China, ancient Japan, or ancient Asia in general. I don't remember. They have some meaning, but I don't remember that either." Sokka pulls another random piece of paper out of his pocket. "Or better yet, look up some pictures on Google or Yahoo or… What's a google? Better yet, since when is yahoo something other then one of Aang's random screams? Some sort of library? Why doesn't Kigen ever explain these things to me?"

"See I told you he was talking to himself."

"And he says the Suethors can hear him?"

"I don't believe it either Katara, but he's probably been talking to himself since I left."

Sokka's eyebrow twitches and he crumples up the paper. "That ends our Mary Sue lesson for today. Next time will be-"

"Why's he still talking to himself?"

"Clothing! Next time I will be talking about CLOTHING!" Sokka turns to face Katara and Suki from where they stand in the doorway. "I CAN hear you, you know!"

"Hi Sokka. Suki said that you have a fever."

"I do not have a fever." Sokka pouts and steams quietly while Katara lays her hand on his forehead.

"No you don't." Katara notes. "Did you hit your head or something earlier?"

"No! Stop looking at me like that! I'm not crazy! I'm perfectly sane!"

Suki takes Sokka's arm in a firm grasp. "I'll grab him Katara. You go get Zuko and Haru; just in case."

"I case of what? Hey, why do you have rope Suki? Let go of me! I'm not crazy damn it! I'm not! Kigen! You're doing this just to make my life miserable, aren't you? I hate you! I'm going to get you for this! Do you hear me? I'm going to get you!"

Part three finished. This part just kept getting longer and longer. There's actually going to be a fourth part to talk about jewelry and piercings; just don't tell Sokka that. It's going to be a surprise.

And yes Sokka, I'm just doing this to torture you. I love you to pieces, but I just couldn't resist.

I'm thinking about doing a small side fic where shipping is discussed. I just find shipping funny because I don't really ship, and I don't dislike any pairing unless they are done in well and aren't too pedophilic. Anyone think I should, or will the shippers attack me?

Next chapter, clothing. Sokka is reunited with his beloved marker board, and everyone still thinks he's crazy. Please review.

Ja min-na san!


	4. Clothing: Part One

**10 Steps to De-Sue a Mary Sue**

So many reviews… I'd like to thank all the wonderful reviewers who have taken the time and effort to read this story and leave their wonderful comments.

Someone asked me where I got my information from. I get it from watching the television series, basic knowledge, and bothering my mother when I see her. Another asked about the term Sue. To explain, when the fic first started, all the characters were Mary Sues. Now that they are going through the De-Sue process, they will be referred to as Sues. Once the Mary Sue had finished taking all of the wonderfully brilliant professor Sokka's lessons, they will have become OCs.

And one last review wanted to correct my no last name rule, which was stated in chapter 1. I would in turn, however, like to point out that just because his name is Jeong Jeong (forgive me is this is not spelled correctly) it does not necessarily mean that Jeong is his first and last name. Chinese names tend to be repeated (such as Jeong Jeong, or Tom Tom), but are not two separate names. On the other hand, Korean names are always two part. Looking at my mother and other Korean names, their names are Mi Sun, Dong Young, Ee Jung, and so on.

Small warning, Zuko appears and may be a bit out of character. This is because this is how I believe Zuko would act if he wasn't obsessed with catching the Avatar or running from his sister.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar. Just because rules have been written here does not mean they have to be followed.

**Chapter Four- Clothing: Part One**

Another day, another lesson. Sokka once again stands at the head of the room. He has his (Teo's) goggles and has been reunited with his beloved pointing stick and marker board. Yet, he is scowling. It may have something to do with the fact that Zuko is in the room.

"Remind me again why YOU have to be here?"

"Because you're crazy and can not be trust to be left on your own."

"But why did it have to be you?" Sokka groaned. "And I am not crazy!"

"Of course you aren't. Now go talk to your imaginary friends-"

"The Suethors aren't imaginary!"

"-and hurry up so I can leave." Zuko crosses his arms from the chair he sits in across the room

"How did they talk you into this anyway?"

"I'd rather not go into details. Let's just say that sister of yours can be very convincing."

Sokka raises his arms in mock joy. "And let the Zukara fans rejoice!"

"The what fans?"

"Zukara."

"What in the world is Zukara?"

Sokka pulls a piece of paper out of his pockets. "Zukara is the increasingly popular pairing of Zuko and Katara. The opposite of Zukara is Kataang, which is the fandom pairing of Katara and Aang." Sokka folds the paper and puts it back in his pocket. "Yeah. The whole shipping thing; it's kinda crazy. I'm going to go talk to Kigen soon and have her explain everything."

"So the shippers think I'm in love with your sister?"

"Some. Others think you like Song, or Jun, or even Azula. Then there's something called slash-"

"Hold it! People think I'm in love with my sister? Incestuous love?"

"Well yeah, but-"

"I'm going with you when you talk to Kigen. Now hurry up with the lesson so I can leave." Zuko's voice leaves no room for argument.

"Yeah, yeah. I hear you prince boy." Sokka ignores Zuko's scoff. "Today we'll be going over clothing… Stop that!"

Zuko raises his unbrunt eyebrow. "Stop what?"

"Staring at me! I can't give my lesson with you look at me like I'm crazy!"

"Do you want me to look at you like you're an idiot instead?" the prince asks.

Finger pointing, Sokka opens his mouth to answer, but decides against it and snaps his mouth shut. "I'm not going to answer that. Just sit down-"

"I'm already sitting down."

"-shut up, and look at the board."

"Yes sir." Zuko raises his hand in mock salute.

Sokka's eyes narrow. "I liked you better when you were angsty and Emo." He growled. "Now for Water Nation clothing-"

Zuko interrupts Sokka yet again. "Angst I know, but what is Emo?"

"Emo is, it's kinda like… It's really, really angsty with no happiness at all. And broody. Any other questions your highness?"

Zuko's lips twist into a smirk. "Yes. Now, what color are Fire Nation eyes again?"

"Arrgghhh! Stupid, evil, little fire nation baby (he's referring to Tom Tom by the way)! Yellow eyes, okay. Brown eyes? Sure, that's fine. But since when do fire nation jerks have gray eyes? Oh, and the citizens of Omashu, let's not forget them. I start giving anti-Sue lessons, so I start looking at everyone's eyes. But when I look at all the eyes of the people of Omashu, they have white eyes! White! Why do they have white eyes!"

During his rant, Haru had arrived and is standing just inside the doorway. "Umm…?"

"The eye colors." Zuko answers; still smirking at Sokka.

"And Omashu's just so special! They can't have green eyes or brown eyes like the rest of the earth nation. They have to have some weird, freaky colored eyes that make no sense!"

Haru stands next to Zuko. "He hasn't started on the-"

"And the swamp people!"

"Never mind." Haru sits down with a sigh.

"Stupid, stupid, greasy swamp people! Now there are waterbenders in the swamp! Before it was real-ly easy. Waterbenders came from the north pole, except for Katara, but she doesn't count. And all the waterbenders there could use their freaky magic to bend water, ice, and heal people. But now, now they can bend plants too! What's next? Chipmunk bending?"

Haru turns to Zuko. "You started him up on purpose, didn't you?"

The banished prince only answers with a smirk.

"And, by the spirits! I don't know what color Bato's eyes are! The Suethors and the antisuethors can't make up their minds! Some say that he has brown eyes! Others say that he has blue eyes! I don't know what color his eyes are! I don't CARE what color his eyes are! Kigen doesn't even know! She said that she is a starving college student who can't afford cable and has to have her sisters who live and hour and a half away record it for her! And the tapes she did have have been leant to her boyfriend! OW!" Sokka falls foreward and rubs the back of his head. "Who threw that? That hurt! Show yourselves coward!"

Haru bends the rock that had collided with the back of Sokka's skull into his hand. Finding a note attached to it, he opens it and begins to read.

"He is not my boyfriend you :censored:. He is a friend and only a friend. Call him my boyfriend again you little sack of :censored: and I will take your spine and…" Haru trailed off, his eyes growing wide and his skin growing pale. "I, I think that I'll just skip that part…"

Haru shudders and quickly reads the end of the message.

"By the way, thank you so much for doing this for me. You're the biggest sweetheart in the world and I love you forever for it. Buh-byes! Wuv Kigen."

Haru folds the paper and gives it to Zuko. The fire nation prince begins reading the censored parts.

"She seems to be getting more violent, doesn't she? First, it was paper airplanes, now it's rocks." Haru notes, his eyes on the ranting Sokka.

Zuko shrugs, his unburnt eyebrow raising. "I don't think this part is humanly possible."

"Which part?"

"The one that involves the rope, feather duster, and tweezers. It's right before all the little hearts she drew."

"Err…." Haru turns his gaze away, not caring to taint his still somewhat innocent mind with such disturbing images. "Should we stop Sokka?"

"Feel free. I'm not going to."

This is going to be difficult. Haru can already feel the headache forming. "Sokka? Um, Sokka?"

The water tribe boy spins around. "What!"

"Your lesson, remember? About the Sues? Weren't you supposed to talk about them?"

Taking a few deep breaths, Sokka turns around and picks up an orange marker.

"Today we are going to go over the clothing of the Sues. Just because I don't have many examples, I'm going to do the airbenders first." Scribbling on the board; Sokka steps away to show a picture of a female airbender simple orange and red robe.

"Airbenders are monks, and therefore, don't wear things of great extravagance. They're robes are based upon those of the Tibetan monks of Kigen's world. I have no idea what Tibetan monks are, but that's supposedly what airbenders are based off of. Now, moving on to the water nation-"

"Hi Sokka!" Katara walks in, trying her best to look innocent, but failing miserably.

"What Katara? I'm in the middle of a lesson."

"I can see that, but, um, we need a big, strong man's help."

"Katara, don't be an idiot. I know what you're doing. You're trying to convince me, to go talk to that quack, and have him figure out why I'm crazy."

"No, of course not Sokka. We seriously need your help. It's important warrior stuff."

"Even if I did believe that, which I don't, I wouldn't go with you. I need to help the Suethors." Sokka picks up a blue marker.

"I was afraid I'd have to do this." Katara sighed.

Sokka looks at Katara. "Do what?"

"Zuko, Haru, grab him."

"Hey! What are you doing? Let me go!" Sokka suddenly finds himself in Haru and Zuko's grasp. He's forced to the floor, Zuko pinning his arms and shoulders while Haru holds his head still.

"I'm sorry Sokka, but this is for your own good." Haru apologizes, pulling at his necklace to reveal more of Sokka's neck.

Sokka begins to struggle even harder. "What are you doing to me?"

"Just relax Sokka. We're going to take you to a nice place with no Mary Sues or classes where you can just sit around and have some peace." Katara whispers soothingly. She's wearing thick gloves, and holding a piece of damp cloth.

"What is that? Katara stop it! Get off of me!"

"It won't hurt at all Sokka. This is just some of the venom from Jun's creature. It'll make you numb for about an hour but that's it."

"No! Get it away from me! How could you do this to me Katara? I'm you're brother!"

Katara stops paying attention to her brother. "Haru, hold his head as still as you can. Be careful not to touch the cloth."

Sokka screams as the cloth touches the back of his neck. Soon, his screams fade as his body goes numb.

Zuko lets go of Sokka as Haru picks the limp body up.

"I hate you all." Sokka hisses, his eyes slightly unfocused. With a final glare, his eyes close.

"Is it supposed to be that strong?" Zuko asks.

"Jun said it's normal if he gets too much. He'll be fine in an hour or two. Now come on, let's get him to the doctor."

Sokka's been taken away to the mental ward. I apologize to all that had to suffer through the note. Venting frustrations because some people don't seem to believe two people of similar age and opposite gender can be friends and spend time together without being boyfriend and girlfriend.

Anyways, poor Sokka! I'll have to go save him, eventually… Maybe… It depends how much he yells at me for writing this.

Next chapter, clothing part two. Sokka has a nice chat with a doctor that is less than sane himself/herself. Unable to escape, he has a few people step in to cover the rest of the clothing lesson. Please review everyone.

Ja min-na san!


	5. Clothing: Part Two

**10 Steps to De-Sue a Mary Sue**

Thank you again for all the reviews! I really enjoy them. I'd like to apologize for the long wait. School's been evil (I get to go through the entire summer. Yeah), and I've been writing nothing but angst under my other penname lately. I made this fic a bit longer to make up for the time it took. Thank you all for your patience.

Questions and notes to reviews are found near the end of the fic (inside the fic to be specific). I apologize in advance for any mistakes I make in the characters actions.

**Disclaimer**: If Avatar was mine, I'd be up to date on the series instead of living off the tapes my sisters record for me. Just because rules have been written here does not mean they have to be followed.

**Chapter Five- Clothing: Part Two**

"And the Suethors are real; we just can't see them because they aren't in the room. Kigen uses something called a webcam to watch me give my lessons. Then she uses the internet so everyone can see." Sokka calmly explains from the couch he lays on. With it having been decided that he is not a threat to himself or others, the straight jacket was found unnecessary.

"And what are these webcams and internets?"

"It's some kind of technology from Kigen's world. It lets her take moving pictures that talk and then she can send the picture from her box that has the pictures to other boxes all over her world so the Suethors can watch."

"And that's where the fan mail comes from?"

"And that's where the fan mail comes from." Sokka nods. "So, can I go now?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because… You're nuttier than a granola bar."

Sokka sits up enraged. "Like you're one to talk! You're the one that's crazy!"

"Sticks and stones Sokka." Bumi shakes his head, tsking. "Now let's try this again. Where are the Suethors?"

With a groan, Sokka flops back onto the couch.

:-:-:-:-:

"I feel silly." Yue admits. She stands, hands clasped in front of her, and her dark cheeks tinged red with embarrassment.

"Me too." Song looks at her feet.

"This is a waste of time." Azula leans against a wall, arms crossed and glaring.

"We're not going to argue with you." Suki assures the sullen fire princess.

Katara stares at one person who stands silent, and asks the question no one else will. "Why are you here?"

"Because Kigen offered me a lot of gold." Jun explains.

"I thought she was a starving college student." Song tilts her head in confusion.

"She is, but she's and author. 'In our world, she is God.'" Suki rolls her eyes. "Her words, not mine."

"Oh yeah. And she wanted me to bring this." Jun holds up a folded piece of paper.

Azula raises an eyebrow. "Aren't you going to read it?"

"She paid me to bring it, not read it."

"I'll read it." Katara sighs as she takes the note. "Ha-ha. I just re watched Bato of the Water Tribe. Bato has blue eyes. Blue. Do you hear me? He has blue eyes so you can all shut your mouths and let the subject drop! Biz-natch!" Katara pauses. "I can't believe she wrote Biz-natch."

"I think the stress is finally getting to her." Song suggests.

"Let's just get this over with." Azula places her hand on her hip. "Fire Nation clothing is usually red, dark red, brown and black. It tends to come in layers. The shoulder pads are worn by military members, and certain people of high status. The more shoulder pads, the higher the status. Our boots have points at the toes. You all know what our armor looks like by this point, unless you're blind or an idiot. The more casuel clothing of our nation consists of what Kigen calls, Chinese influenced clothing, and robes."

"What about Tai Lee?" Yue asks, thinking of the girl's revealing, and very pink, clothing.

"Tai Lee tends not to follow tradition." Azula explains. "Now can we finish this up quickly?"

"Have anything to add?" Katara asks Jun.

"No."

"Should we go next?" Yue suggests.

"I guess." Katara takes her place at the front of the room. "The Water Tribe has clothing that is mainly blue, with white and black accents. In girls, the hem of the dress reaches to our ankles, and is often lined with fur. Kigen says the top of our outfits resemble the top parts of kimonos." Katara takes her jacket from Suki, who handed it to her. "Our jackets are thick and made of furs… Um, they reach our knees and our mittens have three fingers. We usually wear boots, but the length is usually at the ankles for girls." Katara turns to Yue. "Is there anything else I should mention?"

"Well… My clothes are purple, because I'm the princess of the Northern Water Tribe, and purple is supposed to be the color of royalty. Should we talk about the betrothal necklaces?"

"Actually, that's supposed to be done in the next lesson. Piercings and jewelry, I think." Suki offers.

"Okay then. Song, and Suki, it's your turn."

"This is so embarrassing." Song blushes, hiding her face in her hands.

"It could be worse." Suki sighs. "As usual, the Earth Kingdom has the most stuff, because it's the most varied. Our main colors are green, brown, and white. The clothes are usually simple. Make the clothes fit the character's style, and look oriental, and you're good."

"Shouldn't we give some more examples?" Song asks.

"Even the princess' little speech was long than that." Jun scoffs.

"Who cares. Let's just get out of here." Azula begins to stroll out of the room.

"I really think we should give some more examples." Song suggests nervously.

"Go for it sweetheart, but I'm leaving." Jun strolls out the door.

"Me too." Azula follows.

"Me three." Suki is about to leave, when she is forced to step back as Azula and Jun reenter.

"I thought you were leaving." Katara sits down.

"Kigen says I have to stay for the entire thing or I don't get paid." Jun reoccupies her spot against the wall.

"What about you?" Katara asks Azula.

"I'm not mentioning what she threatened me with." Azula glares. "So hurry up and give your examples so I can leave."

"Um, well." Song begins. "I guess we should talk about my clothes and Suki's. My clothes are similar to the Korean hanbok. Uh, Suki's, well, Kigen says they look like a modified version of a samurai's outfit, but that she's not too sure, and I have no idea what a samurai is or what they look like. The more formal, expensive clothing of the higher class, like what Toph wears, looks like a Vietnamese ao dai, but I don't know what that is either. Clothing of the upper class also seems to be mostly white, and earth benders usually go bear foot, but can wear shoes too and-"

"Stop rambling and finish it already." Azula orders.

"Ah, that's all I can really think of." Song finishes quickly.

"Now can we leave?" Jun calls from her spot on the wall.

"I guess. There's nothing else to do, is there?" Suki asks.

"Umm… Kigen said something about answering the fan mail." Katara holds up a few letters.

"Okay." Suki snatches one. "Purple Moonshine mentions that she's a fan Maiko or Zumai, whatever those are, and that she's a shipper of it. She also respects Kigen's Zuko/Song shipping, if she is one."

Katara holds a paper that has several of Kigen's responses. "Kigen would like to point out that again, she is a starving college student with no cable. So it is most likely that when she wrote that particular part, she either forgot to, or that she didn't know it at the time. She'll mention it in her shipping fanfic, if she ever gets that out. She also wants to point out, that she is not a Zuko/Song shipper, but a slasher of both sexes."

"What's a slasher?" Yue asks.

"You don't want to know." Jun, Azula, Suki, and Katara answer in unison.

"Two here say that Zukara is actually called Zutara." Suki glances through a few more letters.

"Kigen says that is Sokka's fault. Sokka says that Kigen is just using that as an excuse and that she didn't know either."

"DemonSlayer-Keioko has a question about animal benders and light benders." Yue says as she looks over her own letter. "I've never heard about animal benders and light benders before."

"That's because they don't exist outside the realm of Mary Sue and Gary Stu fanfiction." Katara answers. "Those will be talked about in the bending chapter."

"What about this one from Sithking Zero?" Song holds up her letter.

"Kigen says her response to that one's too long and that it'll be at the end of the chapter." Katara answers. "Everyone else gets a bunch of thank you's for their reviews."

"Hold it!" Suki holds up one piece of fan mail. "Azula, get your brother."

"Why would I do that?" Azula scoffs.

Suki grins a wicked grin. "Just grab him and come with us. Trust me; this will make this entire thing worth it."

"I ask you again, why would I-" Azula trails off as Suki whispers something in her ear, and shows her the letter. "Oh Zuzu! It's time to go pick up Sokka from the psychiatrist."

:-:-:-:-:

"Remind me again why I have to come?" Zuko rolls his eyes as the girls (minus Jun) follow him into Bumi's clinic for the mentally deranged.

"You'll see Zuzu." Azula smirks.

"I told you to stop calling me that!"

"Finally!" Sokka jumps off the couch where he had been receiving 'counseling' from Bumi, once his sister entered the room. "Let's hurry up and leave before- What's everyone doing here?"

"One of the fangirls asked that you and Zuko kiss and make up." Suki can't keep her amused, somewhat sadistic giggle silent.

"What?"

"There's no way I'm going to kiss that peasant!"

"I read that review! She asked for me to kiss Zuko for the yaoi fans! There was no mention of doing it to make up!"

"Get your hands off of me-"

"Katara! Stop pushing!"

Both Zuko and Sokka's rants are cut short when a convent foot appears out of no where to trip Zuko, causing him to fall face first onto Sokka in a lip lock.

"Get off of me!" Sokka shoves the fire bender off his body.

"That was disgusting!" Zuko wipes his lips on his sleeve.

The girl, are laughing, hysterically, it may be added.

"What on Earth possessed you to do that?" Sokka yelps, before rubbing his lips on his glove to rid them of all history of Zuko's touch.

"Black mail." Suki answers chuckling.

"To see Zuzu embarrass himself." Azula answers.

"The reader did request it." Song hides her smile behind her hand.

Groaning, Sokka takes the piece of paper Katara hands him. "Next chapter, peircings and jewelry… Kigen added another one, didn't she?"

"Yes." Katara answer, a grin on her face as well. Wait until Aang and the othersheard about this.

So, next chapter, piercings and jewelry. Don't have any idea what'll happen exactly, but we'll find out soon enough. As for the kiss, pure humor, I swear. I may be a slasher, but I'll save the slashing for my romance fics and the shipping war.

Now, as for Sithking Zero, your review was rather long, as is my reply, so I placed it here instead of in the fic.

First, about the plant benders and eye colors. I am well aware that this is water bending. Sokka mentions that it is water bending. I had him phrase it this way however, because it seemed to be more in character. Your explanation, however, I found to be flawed. If water bending was to be done though the capillaries of the plants, that wouldn't be to difficult since the capillaries have their own force of gravity, and pull water up the plant, which would aid in the bending. This is much like the muscles of the human esophagus pulling food into the stomach. My theory however, is not that the water is bent through the capillaries, but the water within each cell is shifted, causing the plant to lean in that direction. This would be easier than moving the water through the capillaries of the plants, and allow more freedom of movement, since water in capillaries only goes in one direction. I think this would be tricky to learn and master, but not difficult. As for your comment about the eyes of the citizens of Omashu, yes it would be because of the genes, although your example was not the best. Omashu citizens most likely have white eyes through heredity, yes, but it's morel likely that when the city was created, a few people had white eyes, their children had white eyes, their children's children had white eyes, and that this carried though the generations until white became the dominate color. This would be more of a case of selective breeding, than your example of adaptation in which the one color of the birds becomes dominate through elimination of all those who are not the preferred color. For example, birds are white and gray, but live around gray buildings. The white birds die, either from being eaten or being unable to catch their food because they are easier to see than the gray birds, resulting in mainly gray birds living. However, you seemed to have missed my point in that Sokka wasn't ranting about the actual color of the eyes, or the bending of plants, but how it messed with what he had already covered in the lessons.

Second, I respect that you find my interruptions and Sokka's supposed insanity annoying, that's your own opinion. I however, find it humorous, and a nice running gag, so I will be keeping it. I would also like to point out that there was content in the last chapter, Sokka covered the clothing of the Air Nomads.

Lastly, this fic was not meant to be either informative or to teach people anything. I am very happy that it is informative and people are using it to improve upon their writing, but that was not my intent when I wrote this. My intent was for a humorous little story with Sokka stealing and wearing other character's clothing, because I though the idea was cute. De-Sueing the Mary Sues was just an easy thing to touch upon; and I thought it would get a few laughs. Please do not tell me that the intent of MY fanfic, which I am writing. I actually found it insulting that you told me that the true point of my fic was that "Mary Sues are evil and too numerous." Only the writer can decide what the true message of any story they write is. To tell the truth, I don't think that Mary Sues are evil. Numerous, yes. Annoying, yes. Evil, far from in. A Mary Sue, in essence, is the writer's dream character. So, she who writes the Sue will love her work. I myself have well over forty stories which star my own Mary Sue. I simply do not post them because I know only my close friends and I will enjoy them, and because I know that they are not the best written stories. So, everyone can write as many stories about Sues as they like. They simply should not post them and expect other people to share their philosophy in the splendor that is their character. I too, apologize for rambling.

Thanks for reading and please review.

Ja min-na san!


	6. Piercings and Jewelry

**10 Steps to De-Sue a Mary Sue**

By: Kigen

This has to be the longest chapter to date. Thank you everyone for all the reviews.

Since it worked well last time. questions and notes to reviews are found in the fic again. I apologize in advance for any mistakes I make in the characters actions. This chapter was created after I read a story that had a Sue getting about 47 piercings or so in her face when she was around 12, for the sole reason that it made her a tortured soul.

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned Avatar, just so I could make my favorite/crack pairings cannon. Just because rules have been written here does not mean they have to be followed.

**Chapter Six: Piercings and Jewelry**

Sokka stands ready for his lecture once more. This time however, Teo's goggles are not present and he looks quite annoyed.

"First, I just want to make one thing clear. I do not, have not, and will never EVER like Zuko! I don't like him! He's Fire Nation, PRINCE of the Fire Nation! I hate the Fire Nation! I hate him! Is that clear? Does everyone here understand that I do not like Zuko?"

"First of all, I'm the only one here Pinhead. Second, haven't you heard that too strong a denial is really a strong confession?" Toph leans against the far wall.

"Nobody asked you." Sokka hisses.

"Yes you did." Toph smirks. "Anyway, why don't you go and give your dumb Anti-Sue lesson so I can hurry up and go do something worthwhile."

"Why are you here anyways?"

"You mean why did they choose me instead of your usual babysitters? Everyone was busy except Han, Jet, Zuko, and me. And Kigen said something about Han or Jet being here either turning into a huge fight; or something that won't be covered under our T rating. And you can guess why Zuko refused." Toph smirk widens as Sokka rants under his breath about "spirits-be-damned, yaoi-obbsessed-authoresses."

Clearing his throat, Sokka begins. "Today's lesson is about piercings and jewelry. Now, let's make this short and sweet, so I can go yell at Kigen."

Taking a marker, Sokka draws four chibi figures. One is Katara with a close up on her necklace. The next is Azula, with a close up on her hair band. Jun's hair band is under that. Next is a random Earth Kingdom woman with random hair ties and jewelry. The last is a random Air Nomad woman, close up on her orange necklace.

"Let's start with jewelry. Now, anyone with half a brain knows that this," Sokka points to chibi Katara's necklace, "is a Water Tribe betrothal necklace."

"If they need half a brain to know that, how do you know it?"

"I didn't ask for comments from the peanut gallery! The quieter you are, the quicker it will go, and the sooner you can leave."

"All right, all right. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

Sokka takes a few deep, claming breathes, and counts back from twenty before continuing. "If your Sue is wearing this, that means she's engaged to be married. The only exception to this is Katara, because it's an heirloom left to her by our mother, left to her by Gran Gran. If any guy tried to give Katara a betrothal necklace at her age, I'd kill him. Now, as you all probably know, it's carved by hand 'cause that's the only way we can without earthbending." Sokka pauses and turns to Toph. "Could earthbenders carve little things like this?"

"Probably. If they were any good at earthbending." Toph replies.

"All right then. Anyway, the betrothal necklaces are carved with blue stone. The patterns are abstract and reminiscent of water. It's attached to a dark blue ribbon. It's a choker too. Aside from that, Water Tribe girls don't wear much jewelry.

"Next is the Fire Nation. I would again like to take this time to remind all of you about how much I really hate Zuko.

"Moving on, we don't see many Fire Nation women. In fact, other than a few random extras, we only see Jun, Azula, Mei, and Ty Lee. Now, as for Ty Lee and Mei, I never really got a good look at them because every time I've seen them, they've been trying to kill me and stuff. I never really got a good look at Azula either, or Jun for that matter, but Kigen's been ranting about their hair things, so we'll cover them."

Sokka points first to Azula's crown. He then points to Jun's skull band. "These things are the hair ties that hold up their hair buns. Azula's is shaped like a flame because she is the Fire Nation and it's pretty much their version of a crown. Jun's thing looks like a skull."

Sokka points to the Earth Kingdom woman. "Earth Kingdom people are really varied. There's no real point in trying to be specific. All I'll say is keep it from being gaudy, keep out things like glitter and smilie faces, or a blinding amount of shiny jewels. Flowers also seem to play a big role in jewelry design.

"As for the Air Nomads, keeping with the Tibetan Monk influence, jewelry will probably be mostly made of long strands of orange beads, real simple stuff. Maybe it'll have a charm here or there, but it'll be minimal."

Sokka pulls out a piece of paper. "Kigen gave me a list of the different types piercings from her world. Okay, ear piercings. We have those. The only thing is not to go over board and have five holes in each ear or something. Nose piercings, a stud in the nose isn't too bad. Neither's an eyebrow piercing... Okay, maybe a lip piercing would work. Tongue piercing's not the worst either."

Suddenly, Sokka let's out a strange, strangled "Eaughck?"

"What? What's 'elck' mean?" Toph asks.

"Listen to this. Cheek piercing. Belly button piercing. NIPPLE piercing-" Sokka winces. "Piercing... private parts."

Toph's face scrunches up. "Ew."

"That's just, ow! I don't know how piercing is done in Kigen's world, but here, it's done by taking a needle and pushing it through the skin. Hence the term PEIRCING. How do you even pierce a belly button? It's a hole people. There's nothing to stick the needle through! And as for piercing down there-"

"Stop!" Toph yells. Her hands are clasped over her ears. "Stop, stop, stop! I don't want to hear it! That's gross!"

Sokka grimaces. "To sum it up: Water Tribe, betrothal necklaces. Fire Nation, hair ties. Earth Kingdom, whatever. And Air Nomads, beads. You can give your Sue other jewelry, just don't overboard or make it gaudy or something that would exist in Kigen's world, but not ours. Piercing are fine as long as you don't go overboard and they're in NORMAL places."

Toph snickers, over the piercings. "That was quick."

"What?" Sokka frowns. "I thought you wanted this over with as fast as possible."

"I'm just surprised that for someone as obsessed with his belt matching his bag, you didn't talk that about making sure the accessories matched the outfit." Toph smirked.

"Will you ever let that go?" Sokka groans.

"Nope. Besides, it really helps the argument that you really love Zuko."

"I DON'T LOVE HIM! I don't even LIKE him! Why do you even care if I like him or not?" Sokka suddenly asks. It's not like Toph to pry or care about other people's business.

"I don't. Sleep with Zuko." Toph ignores Sokka's indignant squawk. "It's not like I give a flying hog monkey. It's just something to pass the time with. Besides, Kigen asked me to torture you."

Sokka's eye begins to twitch. "She- she what?"

"She asked me to torture you. Didn't you hear me the first time?"

"I can't believe her! That yaoi obsessed fan girl of an authoress! When I get my hands on her, I'll-"

"You'll what?"

Letting out a surprised 'Eep!' Sokka spins around. "What are you doing here? And how'd you get in here?"

Jet rolls his eyes. "Through the door. I'm here because Kigen wanted me to bring the fan mail."

"Why does she want me to answer fan mail? And why'd she have you do it?" Sokka peers suspiciously at the Earth Nation Rouge.

"She thought that since the last time everyone answered fan mail went well, we might as well keep doing it. And she asked me to do it, so I could do this." Jet sets the bag of fan mail onto the ground.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Sokka takes a few steps backwards as Jet approaches. "Stay back! I'm warning you." Sokka gulps when his back hits the wall. He whimpers as Jet's hands rest against the wall; effectively trapping him.

"Oh really? And what are you going to do?" Jet leans forward.

"I-I-I…" Sokka's eyes roll into his head as his body goes limp in a dead faint.

Smirking, Jet lets Sokka fall to the ground and steps away.

"What was that about?" Toph asks. "You weren't gonna kiss him, were you?"

"I was."

"Why?"

"Blackmail. Kigen said that either I kiss Sokka, or she writes a Jekka mpreg. I choose the lesser of two evils."

"What's a Jekka mpreg?" Toph asks.

"Jekka is the made up word Kigen invented for shipping me with Sokka. Mpreg is short for male pregnancy."

"But guys can't get pregnant."

"Tell Kigen that." Jet grimaces from the memory that pops into his head. "Actually, don't tell her that. If you do, she'll explain how it possible for guys to get pregnant just not stay pregnant."

"Ew."

"Yeah. So, you gonna answer the fan mail?"

"You haven't met me yet, have you?"

"Obviously. Why?"

"Since you haven't noticed, I'm blind. So I don't think I'm be the best to answer them. And unless boomerang boy wakes up, he's not answering them either."

"Looks like it's up to me then." Jet rolls his eyes. "I better get some good compensation for this." he mutters.

"First, I'm sure Kigen would like to thank everyone who sent us fan mail; especially zodiacdragonHatori for sending two letters.

"Anyway, a few people asked about blond Sues. Kigen says a blond is someone with yellow hair. Well, I've never seen someone with yellow hair before; but no one questioned Yue's white hair. As long as it's not made into a big deal, or just called a little odd, don't worry about it."

Jet browses through a few more letters. "For the people who like slash, Kigen says she's happy to please. I, on the other hand, would like to know what the hell is wrong with you people. You're only encouraging her to put more 'fan service' in these lessons and write more of her horrible stories and make more AMVs. She's already made a Zukka AMV and is in the middle of writing a story with those two. She slashed Haru and Teo. She wrote a R rated Hanka. She's writing a Jetaru right now, and is making an AMV for us. Stop encouraging her!"

"Hanka and Jetaru?" Toph asks.

"Han and Sokka, and me and Haru." Jet explains.

Toph wrinkles her nose. "She'll slash just about anyone, won't she?"

Jet nods and picks up a few more letters. "Several people want to know what Kigen blackmailed Azula with. I'm not sure about the details, but Kigen did tell me it involved several stories and pairing involving Azula that the Fire Nation Bitch didn't like."

Out of no where, a paper football smacks Jet in the face.

"Who did that?" Jet growls as he unfolds the football. "No swearing or I'll write the mpreg. Love Kigen. P.S. Be glad I'm preoccupied with Shaman King right now, or I'd dig up that badly written drabble I wrote with you and Han fighting over who's seme as punishment." Jet blinks, snorts, then balls up the note and throws it over his shoulder. "Empty threat. I know you hate that story and would never post it."

"So…" Toph smirks. "Who was seme?"

"None of your business." Jet answers. "Now, a lot of people want to know if certain topics will be covered in lessons. As of right now, Kigen has character introductions, family relations, bending, made up bending and the earth/fire/water/air bending, if your Sue is an Avatar, if your Sue can multibend, personality, some things about plot, personality-"

"You said personality twice." Toph points out.

"That's because it needs to be taught at least twice." Jet explains. "And she has spirits know what else. I mean, it's taken four lessons just to figure out what Sues should look like. I'm sure she'll stretch it out more.

"As a request, Kigen wants people to give her any bending they've heard of, thought of, that aren't water, earth, air, or fire. She also wants you to include your reasoning on why it's possible, because she wants to try and prove them all wrong."

"Aren't we past out time limit?" Toph asks.

"Close enough. Let's go."

"What do we do about boomerang boy?"

"Leave him. Someone will come for him sooner or later. Next time, it gonna be something about bending." Jet walks out the door with Toph. "Wanna grab something to eat?"

"Why not?" Toph voice begins to fade. "I got some time to kill."

By the spirits… I think I created a new ship. And it's het… o.0 I dub thee, Jetoph! Yeah, the slash is getting heavier and heavier, but I assure you, it just a running gag. I'll be treating the characters like they don't like anyone… except maybe for Jet and Toph. 'u'

Anyway, next chapter, we will begin to explore the many wonders of Sue bending. Please give me your made up bending, so I may address it in the story.

Read and review all.

Ja manna-san!


	7. Water, Earth, Air, and Fire Bending

**10 Steps to De-Sue a Mary Sue**

By: Kigen

Thank you everyone for all the reviews. I know it's been a long time, but it's back.

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned Avatar, but I don't so I'm just going to take my frustrations out in fanfics. Just because rules have been written here does not mean they have to be followed. The notes on the bending styles comes from wikipeida and avatar spirit.

**Chapter Seven: Water, Earth, Air, and Fire Bending.**

Zuko stands in the room with Sokka, in his new Bai Sing Sei clothing and hair style. "Why are we still here? I thought the crazy yaoi fanatic finally released us."

Sokka sighs. "If only it was that easy. She just got sidetracked for a few months with Shaman King again. That, and her newest Zukka fic." he shudders.

"And now she's back to torment us some more?"

"Yep." Sokka nods. "She figures since she's got 157 reviews for the story, 38 for the last chapter alone; she might as well update."

Zuko wrinkles his nose. "Reviews?"

"After she puts the de-suing lessons on the internet, the suethors and other people will email her about what they saw. Basically, digital fan mail." Sokka makes a face that Zuko can't decide is amused or disturbed; probably a cross of the two. "One of them was over seven hundred words long. Another went into a lot of detail about theories about those little flame things you fire bending royals wear on your head. And spirits above, the Sue bending." Sokka shivers. "Some was stupid, some was realistic, and others were just... wrong."

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Whatever they came up with, I'm sure I've seen scarier."

Sokka shakes his head. "Uh-uh. Other than the usual, animal, blood, plant bending stuff; there was yaoibending, psychics, rainbowbending. I'm kind of surprised only one person suggested genderbending though."

Zuko smirks. "That eager to be a girl?"

Sokka blinked. "What?"

Zuko continues to smirk. "She's a Sokka fan. If she turned anyone into a girl, it'd be you."

Sokka suddenly takes on a smirk of his own. "Tough luck Zuzu. If she turned one of us into a girl, it'd be you."

"She would not. In Zukka, you're the uke-"

"You're using her words." Sokka points out.

"Shut up. But you're uke, so you'd be the girl."

"Nuh-uh. I asked Kigen and she said if she could choose any guy to turn into a girl; first she'd pick Haru and if she couldn't pick him, she'd pick you. She likes me as a guy." he looks proud of himself.

Zuko rolls his eyes. "Let's just drop it. I don't want to have to talk about Kigen's gender kinks. Why am I here this time?"

"Time to cover the bending lessons. At least we only need to cover the normal bending and not the Sue bending." Sokka lets out a sigh of relief.

"Then what are we waiting for? Hurry up and give your damn lesson so we can leave."

"We have to wait for Toph, Haru, Katara, and Aang." Sokka explains. "Iroh too. We need one of each kind of bender."

"Why do we need two earth benders and two fire benders?" Zuko asks.

"Iroh's needed for the lightning bending. As for Toph and Haru," Sokka shrugged, "Kigen was going on about the two having different bending styles."

"Then what's taking them? We've been here at least twenty minutes."

"She probably gave us time to ourselves. The fan girls reading this seem to enjoy me having to put up with the guys." Sokka sticks his tongue out. "I don't know what's worse; them or the suethors."

"Suethors." Katara answers as she enters the room. Jet was with them as well, dragging yet another bag of fan mail. "Aang and the others will be here in a few minutes."

"What are you doing here?" Sokka backs away, casting a scared look at Jet.

"Someone was kind enough to point out that since I didn't kiss you last chapter, Kigen needs to write the mpreg. But since you passed out, Kigen decided to be merciful enough to give us a second chance." Jet drops the bag. "Now stand still and let's get this over with."

Sokka backs up until his back's against the wall. "No. You, stay away! I am not KISSING you!" he holds his fingers up like a cross, as if that could ward Jet away.

"Would you prefer getting knocked up and giving birth?" Jet crosses his arms.

"No..." Sokka mutters.

"Then stand still and let's get this over with."

Sokka doesn't move as Jet walks up to him and quickly brushes his lips against Sokka's. "There, all over with." he wipes his lips off. "Now Kigen can leave us alone."

"Do you think Kigen will honestly consider that a kiss?" Katara giggles a bit at the look of disgust on Sokka's face as he sits and wipes his mouth. "She'll still write the story once she finishes a few of the others."

"No! Not you too Katara! Don't go to the dark side! Don't become a yaoi fan girl!" Sokka rushes forward and grabs Katara by the should shoulders. "Don't let her convert you!" he shakes her.

"I'm not a yaoi fan girl." Katara says gently, peeling Sokka's hands off her shoulders. "I'm just trying to avoid seeing my brother pregnant."

"Sokka's pregnant?" Aang asks, as he and the remaining benders open the door and come inside. "I thought he was a guy."

"I wish you an easy pregnancy and a healthy baby." Iroh smiles warmly, playing along.

"Who's the daddy Snoozles?" Toph smirks.

"Jet." Zuko answers before Sokka can say anything.

"Kigen?" Haru asks Katara.

"Kigen." Katara nods.

"I'm not pregnant!" Sokka shouts. "Kigen just threatening with me so she can see me and Jet make out! I'm not having babies!"

"Calm down Pinhead. We know you're not." Toph shakes her head.

"Why don't we do the lesson now Sokka?" Katara suggests.

"Fine." Sokka reaches into his pockets and pulls out a couple of folded pieces of paper. "Kigen got this information from Wikipedia and Avatar Spirit . net, because she's not smart enough to figure it out by herself." he explains, unfolding them.

"First is waterbending. Waterbending is based off a Chinese martial art style called Tai Chi. It was chosen for it's fluid movements." Sokka looked up. "Katara, the notes say you're suppose to do some waterbending while I talk.

"The Waterbenders use Tai Chi, an internal style based solely on the control of energy." Sokka quotes from the paper as Katara begins to do some basic water stances. "It is a very soft, gentle and flowing, but devastating when mastered. Tai Chi students learn to use little strength to defend themselves effectively. While being used for combat, Tai Chi also serves as therapy for the purpose of health and longevity. "Tai Chi" literally translates into "supreme ultimate fist," and it earns its title."

Sokka looks up. "Okay Katara, you can stop now." Katara takes her seat on the sidelines again.

Sokka turns back to the paper. "Next is earthbending. Toph, Haru, you're both suppose to be earthbending here." The two begin with no argument.

"Earthbending is based off of the Hung Gar style because of it's firmly rooted stances. It should be noted though that Toph uses Southern Praying Mantis Kung Fu. Kigen says it's probably since Toph is pretty much self taught.

"The Earth Kingdom utilizes the Hung Gar system, a mix of the Tiger and Crane animal styles. This style uses deep low stances, such as the hose stance, and strong hand techniques. Hung Gar is one of the more external styles, but also practices some internal movement. Emphasis is put on having firm, solid stances. The Chinese character "Hung" is a family name which means "to stand firm and tall with integrity."

Sokka looks up. "It doesn't have any information about Toph's style though. But for the metal bending Toph did, Kigen says theorizes that because while processing earth into metal gets rid of most impurities, a small amount of earth remains in the metal. Because Toph is a master earthbender, Kigen says that she probably reached a point where even the small impurities in the metal were able to be detected and bent."

"Can we stop now?" Toph asks, annoyed to be doing the moves without any actual bending.

"Yeah."

"Finally." She marches over the wall, leaning against it. Haru follows, sitting in one of the chairs.

Sokka takes the next piece of paper. "Ba Gua's soft, circular movements are used for airbending. You're up Aang." Aang happily spring to his feet, playing about with his airbending as Sokka reads.

"An internal style like Tai Chi, Ba Gua is based around the eight trigrams of the Yijing. "Baguazhang" translates into "eight trigram palm." These can refer to the eight animals which Ba Gua movements are based on; Lion, Snake, Bear, Dragon, Phoenix, Rooster, Qilin, and Monkey. 'Circle walking' is used to train stance and movement. This teaches the practitioner how to move and change direction without pausing or losing momentum, as well as staying behind the opponent's back.

"Kigen would also like to point out it seems to her to be a bit more defensive than most; but she doesn't know for sure because she knows nothing about bending or martial art movements." Aang stops his bending, floating in the air back to his original spot, talking to Katara.

"Last but not least, firebending is based off of Northern Shoalin's swift and fast strikes. Get over here Zuzu."

"Don't call me that if you're fond of living." Zuko takes his place in the center of the classroom.

Sokka rolls his eyes. "Just shut up and do it Zuko." Turns back to the paper, smirking as Zuko grumbles and begins to do some stances.

"Am I needed?" Iroh asked.

"Not until we do the lightning stuff." Sokka begins to read again.

"Northern Shaolin is an external style based on extending the body, and long, aggressive techniques that explode and drive through the opponent. It is the Fire Nation's martial art of choice. Northern Shaolin became popular during the Tang Dynasty of China. This style teaches the 5 elements of movement; Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water. Each element describes a different way of attacking or defending. These elements can also apply to other martial arts. Shaolin is said to be the origin of most fighting styles."

Zuko stops as soon as Sokka's done reading.

Sokka pulls out the last piece of paper for the bending styles. "Your turn Iroh."

"All right Sokka." He stands in the middle of the room, taking a deep breath and starting the stances for bending lightning.

"Bending lightning is just another form of firebending." Sokka reads. "It involves taking the positive and negative energies and separating them. When the energies are separated, an imbalance occurs. When the energies combine again, lightning is sparked. Bending lightning is like bending metal. Only the masters of these elements have the ability to do it successfully."

Sokka crumples up the paper. "And that's that. Thank Iroh."

"Not a problem. Anyone care for some jasmine tea?" ambles back to his spot, taking a tea pot that he brought in with him, and beginning to brew it for all the people in the room.

Jet opens the fan mail bag. "Do we really need to do this? Can't we just do vague statements instead?"

Katara nodded. "She wouldn't notice, would she Sokka?"

"As long as we answer the ones she wants us to, she won't care." Sokka takes out the reviewer responses. "Someone read this." he waves it around.

"I'll take it!" Aang grabs the paper and starts to read. "Kigen wants to thank everyone for all the reviews she got, and all the Sue bending suggestions. She especially wants to thank Ookami Aya for one of the longest and most detailed review she's ever gotten-"

"One of the longest?" Haru asks. "She's gotten longer?"

"Don't know, don't care. What's up next Twinkle Toes?"

"And all the great details for the Sue bending. She also wants to thank Foxy-Glove for sharing the theory for Fire noble hair pins. For all the yaoi lovers, she's happy to please. For all the yaoi haters..." Aang pauses to look over all the words of frustrations and ranting about it not having actual slash, just her torturing the characters. "She says it's not yaoi, and she's sorry but she likes it. She says the same thing to the shippers... and the fan girls. She would like to remind people that if they have a specific question or request, to please PM it to her and not leave it in a review." Aang starts to fold the paper into an airplane. "Other than that she say's she'll use the suebending in the next chapter."

"Now that, that's over with, let's get out of here." Jet stands up.

The door opens dramatically. "Stop right there mortals!" All eyes fall on the girl. Her long waves chestnut colored hair shined brightly in the artificial lights that bathed her body where they were held up in buns, the long strands left over hanging over her shoulders. The bright violet orbs of her beautifully stunning face have a deep, strong fire of passion and determination in them. Her white and green clothing, clings and flows from her perfectly slender body; the authentic Korean influence clear in it's design. The baby doll style top is in white and spring green with a han bok like design, the sleeves tight and coming to her elbows. Her pants are leggings that come to her knees. And her slender feet, a golden tan color like the rest of her body. She opens her perfectly pink lips and-

"It's a Mary Sue! Everyone, run for your lives!" Sokka screeches.

"Shut up." The girl steps forward, out of the spot light. Without the bright light upon her, she looks much more normal. "Is that any way to speak to you're master?" she crosses her arms.

"Kigen I presume?" Iroh asks.

"Yes indeedy." she smiles, beaming in a way that is eerily creepier to Judee. "Authoress, anime fan since I was in the womb, and yaoi fan girl to the extreme. How can I be of service?"

"Don't speak to it! It's a Mary Sue! Back foul beast!" Sokka takes his boomerang and holds it up threateningly. "We don't want any of your bogus bending or demonic love."

Kigen rolls her eyes. "First off, this isn't my body. It's my OC's-"

"You're OC is a Sue then! It has purple eyes!"

"Calm yourself boomerang boy. Mi Sun has green eyes. I have purple eyes, because I'm the authoress and I can do whatever I want without being a Sue."

"You named your OC after your mom?" Sokka asks.

"Do you have a problem with me naming characters after my mommy?" Kigen half pouts, half glares. "I can always take the author control up from level two to level four."

"Level four?" Zuko asks.

"Don't tell me there are levels to your craziness." Toph groans.

Kigen smiles. "Yep. There are. Level one, I have no control of you guys what-so-ever, and everything is pretty much cannon. Level two is where we are right now. I don't really control you guys as much as I threaten and bribe to get my way. Level three, I keep you guys in character, and in realistic situations. At level four, I can make you guys do anything I want, as long as I keep you in character. At five, I fully become your god. I can do whatever I want to you, make you like who I want, and make you guys as out of character as I want in the weirdest situations I want. Level five is the suethor level of control." she adds morbidly.

"Why are you here anyways?" Katara asks, trying to change the subject.

Kigen quickly brightens up. "You guys all need to get your measurements taken."

"For what?" Haru asks cautiously.

"For your costumes of course."

"Why would we need costumes?" Jet puts his hands in his pockets, thinking of a way to escape.

"Because next lesson, we are covering Suebending. Which means I'm going to be here, giving the lesson. No, none of you can get out of it, so don't even ask. Azula, Ty Lee, and Mai are even going to be here. Now, everyone stay still while I take your measurements."

"We're doomed, aren't we?"

"Don't sound so sad about it." Kigen smiles. "It'll only last forever. Now everyone wave goodbye to the nice people who are watching."

"Oh spirits, she's crazy too." Zuko groans.

"I know I am but what are you? Now say goodbye, everyone."

"Bye."

:-:-:-:-:

I have appeared! And yes, next chapter will be done in costume, because I feel like it. Sorry if this chapter wasn't so great, I'm a bit rusty in the humor department.

Anyway, next chapter, we fight head on with Sue bending. Other made up bending is still being excepted, but please include your reasons.

Thanks for read and please review.

Ja manna-san!


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